Helping Your Child Overcome A Spirit Of Rejection
I regularly volunteer at my daughter’s yearly middle school retreat as the camp nurse. It provides me the added benefit of getting to help manage her food allergies, while also getting to observe some of the social dynamics with her friends.
I noticed one of the girls in her class was becoming increasingly controlling towards the other girls, demanding that they do the activities she wanted and then pouting or pulling away when they didn’t do what she wanted, or blaming accusing them of not liking her, not wanting to be her friend, etc.
It was painful to watch.
I knew this girl must be in a lot of pain to be reacting this way to normal peer dynamics, so I prayed for an opportunity to chat with her and made an effort to sit with her during the field games.
I began to ask her some questions like “when you say this, what are you feeling inside?” and she began to open up about how she felt rejected and like no one liked her.
That belief had to have come from somewhere, so I asked her when she started thinking these thoughts.
She thought for a minute and then recalled when a close friend of hers had moved to a different school and she was left feeling friendless.
I could so relate to her story, having walked through something very similar myself in my teens and then again in adulthood.
I began to share with her how the enemy loves to fill our mind with lies when we are in pain. And if we believe them, they will become strongholds that the enemy can use against us. I explained to her how she had partnered with a spirit of rejection, isolation and insecurity, and how the enemy was actually using those spirits to push other people away, further reinforcing the narrative that she was alone, unlovable, and unwanted.
I gave her this analogy: “Let’s say rejection was a friend at the playground and it began to tell you things like "‘you’re ugly… you’re worthless… nobody likes you. See, you’ll always be lonely.’… would you stay friends with it?” she immediately replied, “no way!”
Of course, once she recognized that rejection wasn’t really her friend, that it was her enemy out to destroy her sense of self, she wanted nothing to do with it.
I led her through a simple prayer that went like this: “Jesus, I choose to forgive so and so for leaving me for a different school. I break partnership with the spirit of rejection, isolation and insecurity that came in through that situation and I command it to leave me now in Jesus name. Jesus, what is your truth?”
And we sat and waited. Jesus encountered her in a very real and personal way as we waited on Him.
I absolutely believe that we need to validate the pain and difficulty of changing friendships, shoot that’s hard to navigate as an adult! However, we must be discerning and wise to be able to see when the enemy is starting to take advantage of the pain, exploit the wound, and destroy our children’s sense of self.
I would encourage you to pray and ask Jesus if your child is struggling with this and help them walk through that simple deliverance prayer.
Know that once rejection is kicked out, that doesn't mean they will never feel rejection again- it means that they now have the tools they need to partner with Jesus in truth, instead of the enemy regarding their situation.
Have you observed this pattern of rejection in your child? If so, it’s time to take authority and bring them to a place of wholeness and freedom.
